Monday, January 10, 2011

Line of the night

Drunk people, while entertaining at the least, can be irritating. Drunk and stupid people aggravate me. There are plenty of smart, intelligent people who do stupid things when they are intoxicated. And then there is the other side of the population who just do stupid things no matter what. And usually those are the people I get to spend one on one time with, usually on multiple occasions.

After explaining to this kid eight times - yes eight - how much his bail amount was and what he was charged with, I told him to not ask me again.

And two minutes later, he asks me again. So I really had no choice but to tell him:

"Unfortunately I don't speak stupid. So unless you suddenly get smarter we are going to continue to have a failure to communicate."

Well the kid didn't have a sudden increase in intelligence, so there wasn't much I could do. Except use my resources, like the good little rock star employee I am. And I happened to remember, about two months ago my Lieutenant (the good one) had told a very emotional woman one night that I would love to sit and talk with her about her cats. And I got to spend 35 minutes listening to this woman cry about missing her cats. While my LT stood there and laughed his ass off. So I figured some payback was coming due.

So I politely informed this kid what the LTs name was and that he would love to answer any questions that he had. And then informed the LT that this kid in the cell needed to talk to a supervisor. It's just too bad I didn't have any popcorn to watch the show.

For 50 minutes the LT talked with this kid. And talked. And answered the same question at least 20 times. And talked. We started a bet on how long the LT was really going to stand there and I lost by 20 minutes. The LT finally threw his hands up in frustration and walked off. It was AWESOME!

As the LT walked away I heard him muttering under his breath - something about my name and the new training catalogue. I'm sure I'm going to somehow end up in the most horrible, boring, pointless class scheduled on my day off, but it was damn worth it.